Why would people buy books like The Game from Neil Strauss when the author got divorced, with all his game? Do people forget that a successful marriage is more about marrying a faithful person instead of using a game to date someone who isnt?
But to be better husbands, he wants men to sacrifice some of their masculinity — by becoming more fluent in the language of emotions. He wants to show men what they need to learn from women, in order to become better versions of themselves. It took him months to untrain his brain to see women as more than mere objects. “Before all this, if I saw an attractive woman I would have to take it to its conclusion,” he says. “Whereas now, OK, maybe you’re tempted, maybe you’re excited, but then you drink some coffee and you have kind of forgotten about it.”
And the hit movie Hitch, starring Will Smith, is based on his observations. Strauss also has a chapter of advice in Tim Ferriss’ book Tools of Titans. An article in the Sunday Mirror suggested that Leveridge broke up with Strauss in February 2006 to date Robbie Williams. Strauss denied the Williams rumor, but confirmed his breakup with Leveridge on his mailing list a few months later. After graduating from high school at the Latin School of Chicago in 1987, Strauss attended Vassar College, then transferred to and subsequently graduated in Psychology from Columbia University in 1991. While in school he began his career writing for Ear, an avant-garde magazine, and editing his first book, Radiotext, an anthology of radio-related writings for the postmodern publisher Semiotext.
Pickup artists , self-identified as dating coaches, the seduction community or the pickup community, is a movement of men whose goal is seduction and sexual success with women. For the uninitiated, pickup artists are typically men – female artists are much rarer – who attempt to coax women into having sex with them through a mixture of flattery, psychological manipulation and coercion. While we hold no ill will against Neil Strauss, his divorce shows that it’s important for men to carefully choose where they get their advice from. We all look for people who have answers to our burning questions, in this case – how to have a happy love life, whether as a single playboy or finding “the one” and settling down. Strauss has continued to be involved with pickup artistry through his dating coaching company Stylelife Academy, founded in 2007. Most of the coaching is done by employed coaches, rather than Strauss himself, though he does make appearances at yearly conferences and in some video products sold by the company.
At one point I concluded that most certainly Neil wouldn’t be with Ingrid any longer. However, I was pleasantly surprised how he ended the book with him and Ingrid still together and him welcoming a baby boy into the world. I see The Game (Neil’s first relationship book) as the first installment of Neil’s personal relationship journey where he discovers how to attract the right partner.
If someone wants to play with you, you aren’t going to walk away.” Neil’s mom says this to him on family day, which is Sunday when families are supposed to visit to help patients heal. Neil finally meets with Ingrid during family week. She says to even consider being with him there must be honesty, trust, is dominique getting a divorce and loyalty. Neil says he isn’t sure if he can provide that yet, but that’s why he’s in rehab working on himself to understand why he would hurt someone so close to him when things were going so well. He tells Neil to feel the hole of having low self-esteem and then have sex when you are full.
Strauss keeps making these mistakes because he’s full of hot air and doesn’t really know how to deal with women. As they say in Texas, he’s all hat and no cattle. While The Game is a good book from a narrative standpoint, Strauss’ attitude towards the seduction community is one of dismissiveness and arrogance. Despite it being a very different book , something similar is attempted by Nina Power in What Do Men Want?. Power is a British philosopher and essayist whose previous book, One Dimensional Woman, explored how the alleged freedoms of consumerism often serve to narrow women’s horizons.
As soon as the testosterone therapy kicked in she wanted to “fuck everything that moves” and she immediately understood a guys perspective. She talks about meeting him as a ghost in the bookstore and that he must cremate her before anyone knows about her death. Being relational is being in the moment here and now with someone else.
But it’s not that PUA works per se, it’s that nature kicks in and confidence improves. They are used together to develop a guy into the kind of man women are really looking for. Neil Strauss didn’t in the end take his own advice.